Goku's Cooking Lesson
by labelbasher
Summary: Chichi is out and Goku is hungry, so he decides to make chocolate chip cookies, read on to find out what happens, and please review!


Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ  
  
Goku's Cooking Lesson  
  
Goku had been training hard outside and he came inside and he was really hungry after his intense training routine.  
  
"Chichi!" he called as he entered the house  
  
There was no answer, so he called again  
  
"Chichi!"  
  
There was still no answer, so he looked around, in all the rooms, but all he found was his 4 year-old son, Gohan.  
  
"Where's mommy?" Goku asked Gohan  
  
"Shopping" Gohan said  
  
"Awww damn! I'm hungry now, I can't wait" Goku muttered to himself as he walked towards the kitchen.  
  
He looked in all the cupboards, sampling bits of food to see if they were good to eat.  
  
"Awww, I'll just have to wait until Chichi gets home" he grumbled and slumped on the couch and turned on the TV.  
  
Entirely by coincidence, there was a kids cooking show on, and they were making chocolate chip cookies.  
  
Goku watched for a bit and decided that he'd try his hand at making chocolate chip cookies.  
  
He walked back into the kitchen and opened the cupboard door and got out the ingredients that the woman on the TV had said they'd need.  
  
He muttered the names as he got them out "Brown sugar, flour, self-raising flour, baking soda, vegetable oil, peanuts, milk chocolate, white chocolate and eggs"  
  
He had made a pile of ingredients in his arms, each balanced on top of another, with the eggs balancing precariously on top.  
  
He made his way over to the bench, swaying this way and that, to try and stop his food pile from falling over all onto the floor.  
  
He got to the bench safe and sound and un-piled the ingredients and consulted the TV.  
  
"Okay, now first I need to turn the oven on to 200(C" Goku said and he made his way over to the oven and stared blankly at all the buttons and dials on the oven.  
  
After about 5 minutes of staring and 'Umming' and 'Aahhhing', he decided to use his last resort.  
  
"Gohan!" he called and his little son walked into the room and said cutely  
  
"What is it Daddy?"  
  
"Gohan, do you know how to do this?" Goku asked hopefully  
  
"Sure Daddy, you go like this" Gohan said and he pulled a chair up and stood on it so he could reach the controls, he pressed a combination of the buttons and all of a sudden, the oven burst into life and started warming up.  
  
"Wow, Gohan, how'd you do that?" Goku asked  
  
Gohan explained how to do it and then walked back to his room, no doubt to finish the homework Chichi had set for him, but Goku had no idea what he just said, he'd lost him at the first big word.  
  
"Okay, that's done, now what's next?" Goku pondered and consulted the TV program  
  
*Put the eggs and the sugar in a large bowl and beat on high for about 1 minute* the lady on the TV said  
  
"Okay, bowl, where's the bowl" Goku muttered to himself as he searched the cupboards for a bowl, and of course it had to be in the last one.  
  
He placed the bowl on the bench and looked at the TV, the lady cracked the egg on the side of the bowl and the insides slopped into the bowl.  
  
"I can do that" Goku said and cracked his egg on the side of the bowl, unfortunately, he forgot his own strength and the egg not only went in the bowl, but all over the surrounding area of kitchen and his orange gi too.  
  
"Heh, heh" he laughed and got another egg and this time cracked it softer, but still couldn't quite manage, so he tried again, and in the end, he ended up with one egg and about 7 parts of egg and lots of shell, and the rest of the egg spread around the kitchen.  
  
"Whew, I don't know how Chichi manages this" Goku said, exasperated  
  
"Brown sugar" he muttered as he reached for the container, "How much?" he asked and the TV conveniently answered his question *You'll need 1 1/3 cups of brown sugar*  
  
Goku opened the sugar and walked to the cupboard and pondered about which cup he'd use, there were big ones, small ones and Gohan's little one.  
  
He selected the biggest cup he could find, which was one of those huge joke ones, and dug it deep in the container of sugar and pulled it up, heaped with sugar and dumped it into the bowl with the eggs and got another 1/3 of the cup, which was actually about half the cup.  
  
"Now I've gotta beat it for 1 minute" Goku said and then thought a bit "How do I beat it?"  
  
He thought a bit more and then decided the best approach would be to smash it like he'd do to an enemy.  
  
He grabbed the bowl and started punching the contents, he did that for 1 minute and after he'd done that, he ended up with a very deformed bowl and most of the contents all over him and the kitchen walls and roof.  
  
"What was the point of that?" Goku asked himself "It just made more of a mess"  
  
*Now you sift both the flours and the baking soda into the egg mixture* the TV said  
  
Goku went to the flour and opened the bag and promptly dropped it onto the floor, a puff of flour puffed up from the bag and when it cleared, there was a very white Goku. Unfortunately, Gohan had chosen this moment to walk into the kitchen to see what was going on and he saw his dad covered in flour, and he did what any normal 4 year-old would do and burst into tears and ran back to his room yelling something like "Monster, my daddy's turned into a monster!!!"  
  
Goku, oblivious to the fact that he'd turned white, followed Gohan to his bedroom and on the way passed a mirror in the hallway and saw his white self.  
  
"Ahhh!" he said and punched the mirror and made it crack into several pieces, and he saw himself in each of the pieces and realised that he was covered in flour, he brushed it off, well he brushed off what wasn't sticking to egg and wasn't in his clothes.  
  
"Gohan!" he called and entered his room, Gohan was hiding in the corner  
  
"It's only me, I just had flour on me, that's all" Goku assured him  
  
Gohan looked at him and realised that he had his old dad back and ran over to hug him, and as a result, got covered in egg and leftover flour too.  
  
Goku went back to the kitchen and picked up where he'd left off, he put the two different flours and the baking soda in the bowl using the same huge mug he was before without too much trouble.  
  
"I think I'm getting better at this" he said, pleased that he hadn't made much more of a mess  
  
*Now you should have a nice firm mixture* the TV said  
  
Goku's hopes were let down, all he had was a very dry, floury mixture.  
  
"Oh well" he sighed and listened to the next step  
  
*Add the vegetable oil, peanuts and chocolate*  
  
Goku searched for the vegetable oil, but couldn't find it, he picked up a random bottle and read the label.  
  
"Vegeta oil?" he said, confused "Why would anyone want Vegeta oil?"  
  
He took a closer look at the label on the bottle and realised that it said Vegetable Oil.  
  
"Ohhhhhh" he said and put his hand on the back of his head and laughed at his silly mistake.  
  
He added the vegetable oil, still using the big mug. He put the vegetable oil back on the bench and turned around to get the chocolate and peanuts and he accidentally knocked the bottle over and it poured it's insides out in the cookie mixture.  
  
"Oh no!" he said and quickly rescued the mixture  
  
"Should be fine" he said  
  
He put the lid on this time and then reached for the chocolate and the peanuts.  
  
"Okay, I need to chop the peanuts, how do I do that?" he asked, using a knife never crossed his mind  
  
"I wonder if karate chopping it would work" he pondered  
  
He shrugged and decided to try it anyway. He lined the peanuts up on the bench and karate chopped each of them, working his way down the line quickly, he got to the end and all the peanuts split in half simultaneously.  
  
Goku smiled, and rubbed his sore hand, pleased that something went right for once.  
  
"Now chocolate" he said as he swept the peanuts into the bowl.  
  
He retrieved the two packets of chocolate and opened the packets and 'sampled' half of each packet and tipped the other half into the bowl.  
  
"And now I mix" he said, triumphantly  
  
He thought for a little while and then stuck two fingers in the bowl and mashed the contents round and round for about a minute.  
  
"That should do it" he said, and Gohan wandered into the kitchen again  
  
"Hey Gohan, you wanna taste this?" Goku asked his son  
  
Gohan nodded eagerly and Goku lifted him up and sat him on the bench, in a pile of flour.  
  
Gohan stuck his hand in the bowl and smushed it around and when it had enough cookie dough on it, he stuck it in his mouth and started sucking it.  
  
In-between sucks, Goku could hear "It's *suck* good *lick*"  
  
He smiled and went onto the next step.  
  
*Scoop out some of the mixture and roll it into a ball with your hands and place it on the prepared tray*  
  
"Prepared tray?" Goku asked himself and then remembered that he'd forgotten to do that, so he quickly got a tray and put a huge glob of butter on it and spread it around with his hands, so the cookie wouldn't stick.  
  
He picked up half the mixture and rolled it into a ball and put it on the tray and smushed it down with his hand, he did the same with the other half of the mixture and put it on the other tray.  
  
*When you've finished that, put the trays in the oven for about 10 minutes or until lightly browned* the TV blared  
  
Goku opened the oven door and shoved the trays in.  
  
"Gohan, can you set the timer?" he asked  
  
"Sure" Gohan said and he climbed up on the chair he'd used earlier and set the timer.  
  
Goku didn't even ask how to do it this time, there was no point.  
  
He turned around to survey the mess he'd made in dismay, his clothes were covered in egg, flour, sugar and goodness knows what else and the kitchen and Gohan were covered in a similar mixture.  
  
"Okay, we better get cleaned up" Goku said and he ran towards the laundry, pulling Gohan behind him.  
  
He stripped off his clothes and put on another set, exactly the same as what he was wearing before, and changed Gohan's too.  
  
He shoved the clothes in the sink and filled it with water, then he grabbed a bucket and ran to the kitchen the clean up the floor, walls and roof, Gohan followed him, and got in the way, until Goku hit him with the end of the mop and he had to stop for a while to fix Gohan up and to get him to stop crying. (Remember what a wuss he was when he was little?)  
  
He finished this and rushed back to the laundry to clean the clothes properly, splashing water everywhere and then hung them out on the washing line  
  
Goku ran inside and back into the now sparkling clean kitchen, just in time for the buzzer on the oven. (Isn't it strange how these coincidences occur?)  
  
He opened the door and pulled the trays out and promptly dropped them on the floor cause they were so hot.  
  
He spied the glove thingee in the cupboard and remembered that Chichi often used it to get hot things out of the oven, so he put it on and picked up the hot trays and put them on the bench.  
  
He prised off the hot cookies and put them on the bench to cool and he washed the dishes and put everything away, remarkably with out breaking anything.  
  
When the house was back to normal, he and Gohan sat down at the table and feasted on their cookies, just as Chichi walked through the door.  
  
"Goku, honey, where are you?" she called  
  
"In here" he called between mouthfuls  
  
"Oh, did you do some cooking?" Chichi asked  
  
"Yeah, daddy made some cookies and he…" Gohan started to say, but was cut off by Goku's hand over his mouth.  
  
"Everything was fine" he assured her and when she was looking the other way, he caught a glob of raw egg which fell off the roof…  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
I got this idea when I had to cook meatloaf for dinner tonight cause my mom was stuck in traffic…I thought that's what Goku would be like if he cooked…hope you enjoyed it, if you did, please click that button at the bottom of the screen to review…(BTW I haven't spell-checked it, so sorry if it's got mistakes…)  
  
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